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Article 1 Focus of Treatment from an ESM Perspective ESM is About the Energetic Impact of Beliefs. We are CREATORS. What does that mean? It means that regardless of where we are coming from, we are consistently creating our world through our beliefs. We need to share this knowledge with our children. If we had been told the truth of who we really are as children, imagine the world we could have created! It is because we are CREATORS and, thus, MANIFESTORS that we need to own and to speak our fears. Our fears are maladaptive beliefs which inform our creations. We see the world as we think we are. So, if we have a certain perception of self, we assume that it is that self that others see. This is about a belief of who we are. We are not going to manifest physical wholeness and maintain it consistently without embracing all of who we are - the good, the bad and the ugly - without embracing the embodiment of us. This isn't about mental or physical healing or the need to fix ourselves. This is about identifying ourselves as Energy Beings and Creators with all the implications that this carries. ESM is a co-creative process involving the client, the facilitator and the Energy. Living From Our Innate Wholeness Everyone and everything is Energy. We are Quantum Beings - part of the magnificent Quantum Field. We are extensions of Source Energy. As Energy Beings, we are constantly processing information consciously and unconsciously, and we are also consciously and unconsciously receiving, transmitting and sharing information with others. From the ESM perspective, we are innately whole. This means that our foundation is one of wholeness which is Eternal and Quantum. We have given many names to this wholeness or quantum power of which we are a part. They include: God, Goddess, Universal Mind, Source, Spirit, Sacred Energy, and the Grid of Cosmic Consciousness. All information being shared is from this Quantum place and we are required to view everyone and everything which happens around us, from this Place of Wholeness. In seeking to work with the Energy in ESM we are basically expressing an intention to bring about personal change in ourselves and our lives. This process of self-change constitutes a highly individualized journey for each of us. It is a journey of Self-Love or Compassion for Self. From an ESM perspective, all emotional, psychological, physical and spiritual dis-ease is the product of our "separation" from Self which expresses itself in an absence of self-love and self-appreciation. Our symptoms (which are like warning signal lights on a car's dashboard) represent an avoidance of the emotional pain stemming from this separation from Self. Psychologically, this is as true of someone suffering from an acute psychosis as someone suffering from panic attacks, bipolar disorder or chronic, intractable depression. It is important to remember that we are constantly creating whether it is from this wholeness, we speak of, or our wounded places. (Unfortunately, many of us persist in creating from our wounds for quite a long time!) When we speak to someone, we are either coming from our wholeness or our wounds. When we make a choice to come from our wholeness, even when the other person is in their wounds, our message automatically goes to their wholeness. This amplifies or supports them in self-awareness, self-love and personal evolvement. The more we can focus on that wholeness - the more the world will change in a positive direction. ESM works by targetting our wounds and supports us in integrating our wounds and transmuting the pain. The definition of "integrate" is to combine (one thing) with another so that they become a whole, while "transmute" means a change in form, nature or substance. Put simply, a wound is a fear-based belief arising out of a particular life experience or taken in through cultural conditioning. In the case of sexual abuse, therefore, it is not the experience of sexual abuse, however unpleasant it may have been, which constitutes our wounds. Rather, it is the fear-based beliefs that arise out of or are associated with the sexual abuse that constitute our wounds. Fear-based beliefs are always negative and maladaptive. Our participation in integrating our wounds involves our embracing and owning a hurtful experience. In some cases this requires breaking through our denial regarding what happened to us or how it has affected us. Thus, first there is recognition or validation: "Yes, this happened". "This was my experience". Then we allow the Energy - that quantum power - to support us by dissolving the fear-based, maladaptive beliefs that we hold in association with the experience. The Energy changes maladaptive beliefs by transmuting them and, in so doing, leaving more expression of our wholeness. The wound - a fear-based belief - dissolves so that all that is left is more of our wholeness - i.e. more of our joy, our self-compassion. It is in this way, by integrating and transmuting the pain of fear-based beliefs, that we begin to realize more and more of our Wholeness - more and more of who we truly are. Integrating Our Wounds Through the Wounded Child One of the means used in ESM to access our wounds is the Wounded Child. He/She represents the suppression of our expression of our truth in whatever form that would take. At our Essence is innocence - that child-like innocence - the purity of a child - that Universal Source, the life force. It is the Essence of that which resides in us. It is important to note that being innocent and naiive are two different things - two different ways of being. Innocence comes from our essence - our wholeness which has been called God, Universal Mind, Spirit, etc. With innocence comes wisdom. The wisdom within that innocence is connected to guidance and being in Guidance Mode is being connected to our innate wisdom (i.e. intuition) and learning to trust it. NAIVITE or being na•ve is when we make a choice at some point "not to know". We have chosen, whatever our reasons are at the time, to keep away from the knowledge of something that we don't want to look at or take responsibility for. There is a difference between an innocence and a choosing not to know. It's like having something right in front of your face, but not seeing it because you don't want to see it - you don't want to know. The Wounded Child represents the rejection of our Inner Child, our Essence. Every time we choose not to feel or to own something we know about ourselves, we reject the child. We are not being true to our essence and the product of this rejection or betrayal is "the Wounded Child". From that Wounded Child come the disorders in mental health which we call narcissism, multiple personality disorder or dissociative identity disorder, and obsessive compulsive disorder as well as milder forms of emotional and mental distress. We become aware of our Wounded Child through our feelings. That is how she/he communicates with us. These feelings are the child's truth coming from a pure, raw place. It is encumbant upon us to allow the child to share her/his pain. It is pure, raw emotion. We need to allow the expression - it is authentic. It is the true expression of the child's pain. It is only in this way that we are able to surrender to the truth of our pain. Moreover, it is only when we surrender to our pain that we also stop suppressing our passions and allow our hopes and dreams to live. The Wounded Child, then, is the part of ourselves we keep hidden, the part of ourselves holding our shame and blame. We integrate the Wounded Child by allowing her to express her truth. Sometimes this truth is very painful to hear. For example, the Child's truth that "My mother hated me". Often, the rejection which the Child feels in response to her truth is so intense that we don't want to go there and so, we put the truth away. As a result, there is no expression of that pain. In such instances, the Child is waiting to integrate. She/he wants to speak her/his truth and have it heard so that she/he can come out into the light. But other parts of Self resist this because we don't like pain and we judge the pain before we experience it. Perhaps we judge it as too painful, too overwhelming. The Ego, which fuels our fears and neediness, plays a major role in our resistance to listening to our truth about our pain. The Ego is about protection - the misguided belief that we need to protect our wounds. The Energy helps us to disengage from the Ego by dissolving our wounds. This allows us to take responsibility for ourselves and, in so doing, to become aware of our own magnificence. If we begin to see ourselves in this way, there is nothing impossible for us! Thus, the Energy represents an incredible tool to help us take responsibility for ourselves and our lives Sometimes it is difficult to recognize the existence of our pain, let alone the truth of it because it has become blanketed by a type of malaise or weariness or absolute exhaustion. In contrast, joy has an intensity which allows it to stand clearly on its own. It possesses a spark or charge which acts much like a key in the ignition to "turn us on" and, in so doing, it gets all the juices of the vehicle going. Without that spark, the engine remains dormant and all parts of the vehicle remain motionless, including all of its working inner parts. Over time the mechanisms within the vehicle become clogged and corroded and basically rust out and fall apart. As a result, its wheels take it nowhere. So, that spark in the ignition makes everything possible. Moreover, that spark in the ignition is analogous to the effects of the Energy upon us. Often, individuals experiencing a session of Energy work come away feeling euphoric, regardless of their initial presenting mood. In this way, they have been reconnected to their natural joy during this moment in time which begins to pave the way for them to experience a more permanent connection to their joy. In summary, when we create from joy, we are creating from our wholeness. This is reflected in an experience of ease and serendipitous flow. Amongst healers and healing modalities there is currently much confusion and misinformation as to what truly serves us. Too much of what is being offered to people only serves to provide them with symptomatic relief, at best, and in so doing, often results in their generation of deep and lasting despair. We refer to the application of "healing" modalities which promulgate such confusion and misinformation as "PLACATING A LIE". Diagnosis and prognosis are two such examples. We want to emphasize that such lies are proffered with the best of intentions, however such intentions are highly misguided. They arise out of the drive "to fix" which emanates out of the healer's own unrecognized and unresolved wounds. To begin, we see one-dimensionally. We have been taught to feel within this one-dimension. This comes from a learned reality of being separate from everything else. We see ourselves as separate. We have created societies of separateness: exclusivity. The truth is that we are Energy, we are all connected and basically matter is just a more solid form of energy that we have been programmed, domesticated and indoctrinated to see, excluding any other possibilities. Within ESM, the whole premise for Inner Child Work is to allow the Wounded Child to express what the child is feeling in terms of what he/she has experienced. We are talking about allowing the child to be 100% real about what has happened in the experience of his/her life. The child's wounds are maladaptive beliefs arising out of her/his experience beit one of abandonment, abuse or neglect. ESM is about embracing our wounds and, in so doing, accepting the truth of our pain. In this way, we integrate and set ourselves free. The essential difference here is between integration and fixing. Fixing is about focusing on the expression of the wound, most commonly viewed as symptoms, and seeking to fix what appears on the surface to be lacking or flawed in some way. In contrast, the process of integration involves the owning and embracing of one's pain and the beauty that lies within the full knowledge of one's wholeness. Our present culture, with its focus on "the need to fix", attracts healers who themselves are too often coming from a place of fear and ego and neediness which acts as a catalyst for their need to control and separate themselves from their feelings. This is reinforced by certain professional guidelines which demand that healers, in the name of objectivity and professional distance, separate themselves from their patients/clients by the process of objectification. This, in turn, exacerbates the emotional withdrawal and personal isolation of both the practitioner and the patient/client. Thus, we have healers and teachers experiencing the world through their wounds/maladaptive beliefs. This represents a diversionary state in which they are able to avoid the truth of their own experience/pain i.e. what it really feels like. Our need to control, like a professional healer's need to control, is based on the belief that this will create a desirous result. However, in doing this, we ignore the truth of our own experience/pain. Again, this adds more wounds to the child who is still being locked away and ignored, unable to express his/her pain. As a result, the child begins to speak LOUDER in an attempt to be heard and the adult self goes into some other diversionary obsession. This could be another workshop or obsessions with work, drink, relationships etc. Whatever diversion represents our preference. A child knows authenticity. When a child does not show up in a visualization which we undertake as a means for accessing or meeting our Wounded Child, it is because he/she knows that the adult self is not ready to engage sincerely with the child. There is no hesitation on the part of the child to integrate. The child wants to integrate - it is automatic. So the way to begin a visualization with the child is to simply begin to engage with the child in the same way we would interact with anyone else. In the beginning, when we enter into a visualization we might feel a little uneasy, perhaps a little silly. However the child senses whether or not we are sincere. Thus, it is important that we acknowledge that we are out of our comfort zone and that this might feel a little "weird" for us, while also expressing our desire to become more comfortable in connecting with the child in this way and wanting to get to know him or her. It is also important to stay aware of the fact that our childself communicates through feelings and emotions and that it is the adult self which is so conditioned to shutting the child/feelings down. Remember that feelings are, as we know, just feelings. Feelings are there to be expressed and it is not about being right or wrong. The expression of feelings may happen in many ways, i.e. an acting out physically or with sound. It is not realistic to expect that they can always be expressed verbally. Sometimes there just aren't words. The Wounded Child within us is always ready to speak his/her truth every second of every day. However, the child is also very aware of where the adult self is at and the adult self must come to that child in the adult's own truth and dialogue from that place. There is only one reason why the Child Self will not reveal himself/herself to the Adult Self - lack of trust. So we must build that trust. The moment the child knows that we have made a genuine decision to hear and work with the child, he/she will be there faster than the speed of light. It is instantaneous. Immediately we will see the child. This means that if the child is not present, we have yet to connect with that authentic part of us and somewhere we are resisting taking responsibility for that child. We are afraid to hear and to feel that child's pain. We do not want to know!! We are in fear and we are still protecting ourselves even when it means sacrificing the child which, ultimately, is us. Those of you who have questions or comments or who are interested in learning more are invited to contact us at: Diane Raphael - Tel: 604-299-6096 or by email or visit DianeRaphael.com Dr. Gayle Way - Tel: 604-731-3517 or by email Thank you for the time you have taken to read and reflect upon this article. © D. Raphael & G. M. Way, 2007 |
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Dr. Gayle Way, Registered Psychologist (#869) 3561 5th Avenue West, Vancouver, BC V6R 1S1 / Telephone: 604-731-3517 / © 2001-2007 GMWay.com | Privacy Policy Web Design & Hosting by Wicked Web Design & Hosting, Vancouver, BC |